Baby Got Pork

So I’m not sure how these two worlds collided, but I recently ventured to Porchetta, this tiny restaurant with about 6 stools that is famous for it’s pork.  I also can’t seem to get Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” out of my head, so I’ve written a rap of the same tune, about non other than my kind of white meat, pork.

And it goes a little sumthin’ like this —-

I like porks butts and I can not lie
You restaurants can’t deny
That when this girl walks in with a non-existant waist
And a pork dish in her face
she gets sprung (?), wanna get me some pork
‘Cause I notice my plate is empty
Crammed in the jeans I’m wearing
I’m stuffed but I can’t stop eating
Oh baby, I wanna get seconds
And maybe thirds
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that pork fat got me me so hungry
Ooh, Rump-o’-pork-skin
You say you wanna get in my belly?
Well, come on, come on
‘Cause I am gonna digest ya!
I’ve seen pigs prancin’
To hell with veganancin’ (not a word)
It’s betta, at Porchetta,
Gotta get it while there is no line
I’m tired of magazines (health blogs)
Sayin’ pork is bad for you
Take the average man and ask him that
He won’t give a crap
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got this butt? (Hell no!)
Tell ’em to eat it! (Pork!) Eat it! (Pork!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got Pork!

—-  the crowd erupts in applause and a pig runs onto the stage, and then, well, you know what happens:

(Didn’t quite get a pictures before I started housing it down, but this is the Porchetta plate)

I’d like to thank my family and friends for supporting my dreams of becoming a rapper as well as my addiction to pork.




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2 responses to “Baby Got Pork

  1. Myra Maultasch

    You go girl! (if your butt is up to it!) Love you. Aunt Myra

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