Happy Cinco de Drinko everyone! On this glorious day when margaritas are always the answer, we celebrate tequila, my vomit-inducing arch nemesis. I’m not really sure why we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, except I know my friend Jacqueline was born today, so I celebrate her birth! I think we should actually celebrate all things cinco. Like Lance Armstrong’s womb child that he’s been calling Cinco Armstrong. Apparently it is not going to be his or her real name, but “it” has its own Twitter account, so there. There’s also that asshole Chad Ochocinco, who legally changed his name to Ochocinco because the NFL wouldn’t let him use the Spanish words for “85” on his jersey. A little extreme, but I guess when you are a football player you get away with anything.